let's get physical!

let's face it. i'm fat. i'm not freakishly huge and i'm still hot, but a fat, curvy hot. and i know how to rock it. but rocking it is exhausting when there's so much of it to rock. so because i'm exhausted (and because it's getting to be fall, and i find fall ridiculously motivating) i'm gonna get rid of some of it.

i've decided to give up my soda. but not completely (i have to say that b/c i haven't told myself that i'm officially getting rid of it). and i'm drinking more water. someone said that drinking ice cold water with lemon in it helps boost metabolism, and i don't know if that's true, but that's the way i like it anyway, so that is how i shall drink it.

also, i'm off all medication (antidepressants, birth control). when i was on both of them, they made me a mad woman that only had energy enough to lie in bed all day, and i hate that. when all you feel like doing is lying in bed all day, there's something wrong. i like being sane, but i don't want to be sane and in bed all the time. when i was on antidepressants and birth control, the bc canceled out the anti-d so i lay in bed all day b/c i didn't have energy and let my mind wander, which is not a good thing to do when you're CRAZY. so i was miserable thinking about how awful i was, and then had no energy to get up and do something that would take my mind off of how miserable i was. yeah... that just wasn't working for me...

OH! and the only antidepressant that works makes me gain weight like you wouldn't believe (i was on it for two weeks and gained 11 lbs, no change in diet or lifestyle. thank you, pristiq. i still have those lbs so i have even FURTHER to go to get to my ideal weight. you're awesome).

SO those are my reasons. i have a ticker (which is the real reason i'm even writing this blog post; i like it and want to post it here, but i figured i should give a reason that it randomly popped up). i'm on myfirnesspal.com so if you wanna get on there or are already on there, feel free to friend me (vlsewell)!

in case you were wondering, this is NOT what every mother of miscarriage wants to find in her mail box two weeks before the predicted due date of her baby that died.

however, since pulling this out of the mail a little while ago, i haven't had a meltdown, i didn't burst into tears or freak out and throw it across the yard, and it's still on my counter and not in the trash can. it proves that i'm healing. it proves that i'm getting better and that Christ is proving His power by healing my broken heart. and that's something to be happy about. so i guess if i can be indifferent towards this, or only shed a few frustrated tears, or not feel like i need to hide under my covers and take two aleve for the headache that comes with too much crying, i can live with getting this in the mail. certainly not every day, but just this once.

thank you all so much for your prayers. God has heard your words and your heart, and He is working in and mending mine. i feel like i can hear Him again, and if you've gone for a long time feeling forgotten, you know that's a BIG deal. i know it's because you've been petitioning for me. you are such a blessing. i can't thank you enough. thank you thank you thank you, lol!