in case you were wondering, this is NOT what every mother of miscarriage wants to find in her mail box two weeks before the predicted due date of her baby that died.

however, since pulling this out of the mail a little while ago, i haven't had a meltdown, i didn't burst into tears or freak out and throw it across the yard, and it's still on my counter and not in the trash can. it proves that i'm healing. it proves that i'm getting better and that Christ is proving His power by healing my broken heart. and that's something to be happy about. so i guess if i can be indifferent towards this, or only shed a few frustrated tears, or not feel like i need to hide under my covers and take two aleve for the headache that comes with too much crying, i can live with getting this in the mail. certainly not every day, but just this once.

thank you all so much for your prayers. God has heard your words and your heart, and He is working in and mending mine. i feel like i can hear Him again, and if you've gone for a long time feeling forgotten, you know that's a BIG deal. i know it's because you've been petitioning for me. you are such a blessing. i can't thank you enough. thank you thank you thank you, lol!